Many start thinking about the place where they will live after they get married which is also called has Post-Marriage Living Arrangements. This conversation often gets avoided things need to be arranged before the wedding.

While on the surface of things, it might seem like a simple enough question to ask, but soon enough, other issues, often connected to the family traditions and expectations get in the way. Therefore, it is really very important to have this discussion prior to wedding planning.

Culture and traditions

Many families today live with their parents until they get married. So, why is it that after the wedding the newlyweds leave to start a new life of their own. We all have our own traditions, however, it is worth asking how others deal with their in-laws. In some cultures, it is expected that the son will live with his parents and wife until they have children of their own. Some cultures even expect the daughter to live with her husband and his parents. In many cultures, this is the norm It is natural to want to have your own space to relax and unwind from the day. Sometimes this is misinterpreted as not loving your family or not wanting to help with them. You can love your family and still want your own space to relax and recharge for the next day.

When to have the talk

Pick a time when you are both feeling most relaxed and able to converse freely without stress or strain from other parts of your life. A casual stroll, coffee, meeting at a neutral location could all be suitable settings to bring up this topic. Avoid bringing up this conversation during a time when you are stressed or in the middle of an argument as you don’t want the conversation to turn into a negative and lead to more stress in your life.

Money matters

Money is also important to factor in money. If the couple is to live in a new home of their own, it will mean new costs to pay such as for the rent of the home, food, bills and for any repairs that may need to be carried out. The couple should consider whether or not they will be able to afford these costs. This could mean discussing and comparing their current incomes and how they spend their money and then working out together how they will manage to afford to live in their own home. On the other hand, living with your in-laws usually costs less. But that comes with trade-offs. You’ll have less privacy, share space, and follow their rules. Who will cook dinner? Who cleans? What about guests or late nights out?

Living with parents

Of course there are instances where a couple cannot agree on where they will live. Perhaps one of the partners has to care for their parents, and the other is trying to maintain their independence. There are plenty of middle grounds that can be agreed upon by both parties. For example, you could look for a place to live that is close to your parents, but is still your own home where you can go to relax and unwind. This is a good option for people who want to be able to help their parents out from time to time, but who also value their independence. Another option could be to look for a home that has separate apartments, which would mean that your family is nearby, but you still have your own space. The possibilities are endless, and it is up to you and your partner to come up with a solution that you are both happy with.

Ultimately. Once you understand each other’s point of view you will come to a decision together that best suits both of your desires. While where you live after marriage is an important decision, remember that this is just the beginning. There will be many more important decisions that you will have to face together and it is the manner in which you handle these decisions that will be key to the success of your marriage.